Paleolitheegee

Paleolitheegee (also known as the "Stone Age Weegee") is a prehistoric Weegee that lived around the time Weegee society was still in the stone age, and probably the greatest source of information about the time. He is similar to Otzi the Iceman, but is much, much older.

Excavation
One day, Patoni was exploring Mount Ragiicho. While looking in a cave, he found what looked like bones. At first, he thought it was just a Weegee clone who had frozen to death in the cave, but upon closer investigation by his party, he found that it was a Weegee that long predated modern Weegee clones. On top of that, some of the skin, hair, clothing, and even traces of internal organs had been preserved, as well.

Weegee Scientists began studying the mummified Weegee, and came to the conclusion that he predated modern Weegees or even ancient Weegees such as Awran or Mari-fertan-raguk. They placed his birthdate and deathdate somewhere within the late Paleolithic or early Mesolithic era. While he isn't considered an ancestor of most modern Weegees, and is unlikely to be a direct ancestor of Weegee himself, he could possibly be a very distant uncle or cousin (although nobody will know anytime soon, since his DNA is highly damaged).

The scientists originally gave him the name "Specimen 6.5.R110", then "Wadzyui" (after a native word of Mount Ragiicho' regions for "Weegee"), but then gave him the name "Paleolitheegee" (although Wadzyui is often used among average Weegees).

Lifestyle
Few really knew how Paleolitheegee lived, and there is little evidence on what things he did more than a few days before his death. Based on what evidence there is, he probably had a job as both a hunter and a gatherer.

These artifacts have been found alongside with him:
 * Bones of a Mawnteh Mawhl, originally thought to have killed Paleolitheegee, but now probably as part of a scarf or jacket of sorts
 * Boots and snowshoes
 * Spearheads and arrowheads
 * Stone knives
 * A stone cup
 * A net
 * Bone Needles
 * A Spear Thrower
 * Other Bone Artifacts (many of ambiguous purpose)
 * A primitive razor
 * A prehistoric fanny-pack
 * Koopa bones (probably as part of a meal)
 * Grape seeds, fossilized nuts

Death
Based on the artifacts found and uranium dating, he seems to have only lived to be 69 years old.

Nobody is sure how he died, and the theory seems to change all the time based on whatever new knowledge is uncovered.

Here are some of the common theories scientists have come up with on how he died:


 * There are animal bones and knives near his chest, but recent evidence suggests that it was just something he owned, and that he was not stabbed or bitten.
 * He was once thought to have been killed by a bear or another primal creature, but he does not have enough broken bones to prove this.
 * He could have died from a steep fall, but the terrain and lack of steep cliffs around his death place makes this unlikely.
 * He could have made a serious fracture and bled to death, but considering the state of his bones, this is also unlikely.
 * He may have froze to death in subzero temperatures, or starved.
 * He may have died of disease.

Recent evidence suggests that he may have been buried in the spot, and that the cave that he was buried in could have been a prehistoric religious site, considering all the things that where with him when he died could have been buried with him so he could take them to a possible underworld/overworld. If this is true, then it could prove that the society of Paleolitheegee's time was more advanced than previously thought. However, this theory is contested, and those who disagree with it point out things like lack of a burial trench and few cave paintings on the wall. Arguments in the scientific community over this issue continue to this day.

Abilities
Paleolitheegee lived in a time long before toon forms existed. However, considering the structure of his skull, eye sockets, ribcage, and arm and leg bones, he may have had special powers similar to a normal Weegee's, albeit weaker. He might have been able to paralyze or even hypnotize small and medium-sized animals by staring at them, and he may have had the ability to stay in midair for a short time while running. He might have even had a primitive version of a Weegee virus of sorts, albeit much different than the current version. However, these theories do have some criticisms, and ther certainty of whether or not Paleolitheegee had these abilities remains disputed.

Trivia

 * Evidence suggests that he may have been the king of his own tribe, but not many people humor this theory.
 * A lot of people contest the fact of whether or not he was even ancient, and some continue to insist that he was a drifter or someone who was lost who died much more recently.
 * There was an attempt to clone Paleolitheegee once, but it resulted in a disaster.
 * Someone once tried to steal the mummy, but the perpetrator was caught. However, since then, the criminal had escaped to an unknown planet, plotting some plans.
 * He can occassionally be seen across various museums on the Weegee home planet when scientific research isn't being conducted on him. There are also many wax or cloth models of him, as well.